they say you want a war? you got a war, but who are you fighting for?

alright then,I'm so sick of all of this right now, why is it that I'm always some form of relapse for you? Oh right cause I'm your "best friend" right? yeah right, that's totally my role right? You're asking me for my help asking to comfort you yet again. I always end up doing it anyways and I guess I always will, even if it kills me. I guess. I basically got in trouble for you the other day. At first I thought it was worth it, cause it worked out for a while at least. Now I'm thinking what’s the point now if were in this argument. All of that hopeless effort for nothing as well as all that scolding and getting yelled at was for nothing. I went through that just for you, both of you. I put both of you before me. Biggest mistake ever .I feel like crying right now because you're just basically using me, asking me to help you again and whats the point if you don't help me back. I messaged you the other day to tell you about my day cause for once in my life something went right. No, you told me not to talk to you cause you were "mad". I even asked you what was wrong but you told me you didn't want to talk about it. yeah so much for best friends. thanks for ditching me for him. cause that's totally what friends do eh. I hope it dawns on you that things wont fix themselves and if you want to be friends again a simple "I'm sorry" would be nice. Imagine if I was feeling really down like i usually feel. you wouldn't be there to help me because you're so caught up with yourself. There are only a few people I can trust and you're one of them, at least I think so. Know what bothers me the most? The fact that you message me all the time with "sad faces" and you won't tell me whats wrong "I'm sure you can figure it out." is definatly not an answer. I talked to Aubree about this and shes right. I should help myself before others. Maybe i will, most likely not though. I'm stupid.I'm sick of holding everything together. i don't know what to do anymore. One more problem to add to my already messed up life. Both of you don't care half as much for me"we're here for you if you need to talk."where are both of you now?and you can tell at how low I've gotten writing about this in a stupid blog.

I live to let you shine.